I have been blue, like the Summer sky. among the cordial headwind, those crowds and their pleasantries, alight everywhere. You chilled my hands, leading me up the logging path, Ignored my glance and kept pulling my insecurities up to the surface. The grief and lethargy I feel. “Why did you bring me here, to the edge?” You pause and wait for the sky, which is the perfect blend of grey and decay. You speak and the leaves fall around me, As I see the golden sun in its vulnerable setting.
The winter sun Reminds me of the time We spent in the alleys of Italy, Walking hand in hands, Exchanging mellow smiles, Kissing, With the sunlight embellishing our skin, in a beautiful tangerine hue. A rich tangerine hue. We stopped by a cosy little café, You pulled a chair for me, With that sweet innocent smile that makes my heart ache in happiness. We sat across each other and got our Macchiatos. And you’re telling me how much you love the solid blue sky and pink flamingos. And meditating in a forest somewhere in SriLanka last year, with birds chirping in the background. I was leering at your pale pink lips, shamelessly. And the folded sleeves of your black tee, a little drenched in your sweat Your biceps and forehead has an insane luster, I noticed all the possible details, as I took a sip of my coffee. A sudden noise had your attention and as you turned your face to the left, The moody tangerine rays hit the contours of your masculine face. AGAIN. Your light brown eyes were the most amazing thing to look at. Your tangerine contours looked like an oil painting by Michelangelo. I wondered how your eyelashes were naturally curled up. I was green with envy. Our eyes met and you smiled at me. As if you caught me gazing at you. And then, The coffee was tangerine The table, The water in the glass, The window panes, The road outside, My watch everything was tangerine. In no time, my heart bled tangerine, in awe of you As if everything went to shame! I held my breath. It was late evening by then, You held my hand and we headed out. I wanted more of you. I wanted the Moonlight on you. I wanted to adore you some more. I wanted your skin to brush against mine, softly. As I hid my thoughts with a mellow smile, you asked, ‘Are you free tonight, let’s a grab a drink and spend some more time’ I panicked, wondering how’d you read my mind. I nodded in approval and conspired to hide my excitement. “So, what’s your poison?” you asked.”Sunset Rum” I said. “Hmm. You have a deep love for tangerine hues, don’t you?” “ha ha yes, a lot!” I said “I figured through your secret gazes and the choice of Rum” you smirked and winked at me And I chuckled in embarrassment.
“WHO ARE YOU?” I asked the man and then without a word, he placed his hand upon my brow, and the indescribable occurred and there I was- INFINITY. I knew neither- How nor why but every sound and sight.
The strangest dream I have ever had although I’d felt no fright for all at once the universe has set my mind alight.
“Every cloud has a Neon lining”, she said. As we rose to the narrow mountain trails of Rishikesh. She was too kind to let me join her, to somewhere near the sky gods and then the breathtaking serenity. The whole journey was easing my eyes as I cried to it. The holiness of the hues, creating a Van Gogh painting between the mountains, was something! I was teary eyed. She pulled up her bike on the side and put her arms on my shoulder and said, ‘Let us cry together hahaha’ I had some water and she yanked her beer and a blunt. Her dreadlocks looked vibrant as gold with the sunset tint. Her eyes were hazel, they were misty. She kissed on my forehead and said, ‘I Tramonti my rendono trustee debole’ (Dusk makes me sad and weak)
I took my phone out to translate what she just said, but she took my phone away and kept it in my bag and said, “We do not need boxes to communicate”.
I still kept on reasoning – what made her sad about the sunsets? While she was just being there like a carefree soul. What beauty!
The sky screamed of pink hues today, in the twilight. With beautiful contours of the trees. I took my dog for a walk, she kept running, sniffing out of curiosity, all the way long, to discover something I have no clue about. My eyes were stuck on the sky. Glued. Fixed. Visions blurred, as I ran a bit fast. My heart finds the paleness beautiful. The cloudy heavy dust with an apricot skyline. It somehow reminds me of how you seep into my soul.
In the gleam of purple daylight, Hurricane in my mind glows in its own glint, It takes guts to run red into the sun, It takes guts to pacify me, It takes guts to see me burn by your glares, I write about you and watch myself-Divide. Into Red and Purple.
Trapped in an ocean,full of thoughts. Foggy perceptions,dwelling well with my numbness,Inside. I pour down my blue wine,Thinking about how I see things differently,Gulping the wine instead of swishing inside the mouth. How,I want to rectify my sins. How,I want to stay the same. Tears roll down my cheeks, As if something inside me says that I am tired. Something that no longer wants to compromise on terms and conditions. Something,that waits patiently for the day I’d die,with a smile and my glass of wine. The thought doesn’t exist just like the blue wine I hold in my hand.
There is a strange ache, in my heart. That hurts weirdly to the core. I sit at the window trying to see past the blurry greens. Winter makes me sad, always. It reminds me of the phase, where I was vulnerable to the point where I had to beg for warm hands. There are butterflies in my garden, but they don’t bring me joy. It’s like they are flying around a corpse. The green corpse. There is a ray of sunshine, It gives me hope but does not cure my heartache.
I am sitting outside, with my surroundings so serene, The sky partly grey and bright white, with the afternoon sun,that preferred hiding behind the sad grey cotton clouds.
I looked up,smiled for a bit,
For how the clouds made a thunder sound,reflecting on my heart. The intensity of the thunderclouds, I smiled at. Like an immense pain, I smiled at. Maybe that’s how the thunderclouds are,beautiful despite the pain. Or maybe that’s how they cried. The numbness of the rain and the numbness within my soul,nicely wrapped under the soft flesh, Collided, when the few drops managed to run through my tender skin. Like a drop or water sliding down a heated pan.
As of it was trying to synchronize with me. The cold breeze touched my hair strands,when I was thinking about you. I often keep standing outside my door, looking at the trees,swaying in their own rhythm, And I get lost, Thinking JUST about you.